E-Mail This Article to a Friend Nader’s invaders BY NINA MACLAUGHLIN

Walking toward Boston Common yesterday, I was stopped on the sidewalk by Jude Law’s doppelgänger and asked to sign a petition to put Ralph Nader on the ballot.

"No, no, no," I said, backing away as though he’d asked whether I wanted to vacation in Baghdad. He persevered.

"You know, a vote for Kerry is no different than a vote for Bush," he said. "Don’t you?" And he listed all the issues on which they’ve voted the same way. "Abortion is the one area where they differ."

"Good enough for me," I said. I explained that I support much of what Nader stands for, but that this year, I’m not going to do anything to elevate Bush’s chances of re-election.

"You’re scared," he said.

"Damn right," I said.

"They’ve fucked your mind," he said, a little loudly. A girl with a short pink skirt and a fluffy rodent-dog on a leash turned to look at us. "Don’t you see that?" he said. "They’ve totally fucked your mind! Bush and Kerry!"

Maybe so. "Don’t get me wrong," I said, "I’d really like to sign, I hate that I can’t, but I’m not going to."

He leaned in with glazed and glassy green-blue eyes. "Do you know what’s worse than a murderer?" he asked. I played along.

"What’s that?"

"A murderer you don’t know is a murderer." Of course. He launched into how we’re all going to be wearing chips in our wrists so the government can keep track of us, how we cannot trust these men, how they’re in the same party, from the same club.

"Don’t be afraid," he said. "Just sign the petition."

I am afraid, and that’s exactly why I didn’t. "Can’t risk it," I said. "Not this year."

"Your brain’s been fucked," he said. "Enjoy the afternoon."