E-Mail This Article to a Friend Painting with words (continued)

Q: So time-wise and interest-wise, short stories aren’t your deal.

A: For me it’s like saying — and man, oh man, there are people who would disagree with this so strongly — it’s like saying, "Do you have a lot of crushes? Do you have a lot of short relationships? And do you value those like you value your friends?" There’s a place in the world for it that’s really good, but it’s not as substantial as a marriage or something long-term. And I like committing to things as a reader and as a writer. There’s more payoff. There has to be. By definition you have to be more invested over time. But that having been said, there are stories that I really love. Actually, not to retread, but some of my favorite literature is Kafka’s stories. Those don’t feel like crushes at all.

Q: What would you want to be if you weren’t a writer?

A: Obviously, I am a writer. That’s what I do, that’s my life, but I don’t really think of myself that way. I think of it as a part of myself, maybe the biggest part, but there are lots of other parts of me. I like talking to people. I like walking around. I like walking my dog. I think the whole thing would be the same — it’s just something else would be filling that part. What would fill it, I don’t know. I thought about being a doctor. That was something I was really interested in.

Q: Any specific type?

A: Maybe an obstetrician.

Q: Cool choice.

A: It’s hard to imagine something more regularly fulfilling. Nobody questions the meaning of taking a baby out. That’s a good thing.

Q: What’s it feel like with the book about to come out?

A: You know, it’s a little like having a baby in front of lots of people. It’s hard to have a baby, as far as I’ve been told. It requires a lot of you. You need to recover afterwards. And it’s like having a baby and someone holding the baby up and people saying that baby’s ugly. With your second book, people read for the mistakes. That’s what they’re looking for.

Q: Are you anxious?

A: Anyone who says they’re not anxious to hear what people think is probably lying. I care about a lot of readers. There are people I really respect, people in fact that I write for, and it means a lot to me what they think. It means a lot to me what certain strangers think, too. Writing the book, it’s a very intimate experience. I wrote a lot of it at a desk alone or sometimes even in bed. And people read the book at a desk alone or in bed, and all of this stuff, even this conversation right now, is in the interest of facilitating that connection — one intimate experience with another intimate experience. And I want people to have to have really meaningful experiences on the other end of it even if I never know about it.

Q: What about the impending reviews and interviews? Is that something you have to gear yourself up for?

A: I never, ever have a problem with a bad review that’s good. A bad review with good intentions. There are, all the time, bad reviews with bad intentions. You just hope it’s not in a very prominent place, and you feel a little anger and a little disappointment, and, like, a little bit of feeling sorry for the person who wrote it, it speaks of something about who they are.

With interviews, it completely depends on who I talk to. When I have a nice conversation with somebody who engaged with the book, has thoughts about it, I really like that. It feels like a continuation of the writing process.

Giving readings is a little different. That takes some resources.

Q: What about them?

A: The reason I write is there are so many things I feel like I can’t say in life. And maybe I feel like I’m not as good at communicating or expressing myself in the real world that I do it in this other way. And then all of a sudden because of that, I have to really do that, to stand in front in front of a number of people at one time. In a way it’s the exact opposite of writing. I was saying how having a conversation like this feels like a continuation of the writing process, but that really feels different, so it’s hard. It’s hard, because I know people have ideas about the author of the book they read. And it’s never quite right.

A: Did you find yourself moved by what you were writing?

Q: Actually, one of the moments I realized that I really wanted to be a writer was when I was reading this biography of James Joyce. It described him writing Ulysses at his desk at night, and he would keep his wife awake because he was laughing so hard at what he was writing. And I thought, "Man, that’s a great image and a great thing to commit your life to." Trying to make yourself laugh or trying to make yourself cry or trying to move yourself. Because those things really express your humanity. That’s who you are, when you’re laughing, when you’re crying. And also the idea that if it makes you do that, it’ll make somebody else do that. I’m always trying to do that.

Q: What’s your routine? How do you write?

A: There really is no routine. I wish there was one. There has been for points in my life. There was a time when I’d wake up at four and work until seven, and that was it for the day. There was a time when I was living in Queens when I’d go to the New York Public Library. It’d open at 10, some days at nine, and I would go until about one or two o’clock. My schedule often depends on my surroundings. Like right now, for example, it’s something as simple as when does the coffee shop open. In Brooklyn, I’ve been working in a coffee shop for about half a year, but I stopped doing that because too many new mothers were always breastfeeding. Now I work in the basement sometimes. I have an office I go to sometimes. It’s weird. I don’t know. I feel in no way professional, I actually think to a fault. I wish I had more of a regimen. But at this point I really write when the spirit moves me.

Q: Does not feeling professional about it make you feel weird saying you’re a writer?

A: It’s a weird thing to say, and it’s a really exhilarating thing to say. I love it. I guess I take a lot more pride in being a writer than I do in my writing, if that makes sense. I have high hopes for the future, and I’m not sure I’m so pleased with anything I’ve done to date. But I really like the project of trying to write books. And maybe that’s enough. If at the end of the day you say, "I tried something good," I think that might be enough.

Nina MacLaughlin can be reached at nmaclaughlin[a]phx.com