E-Mail This Article to a Friend Wish list, continued

[71] More free booze. In church.

[72] Life is breathed into all lawn ornaments.

[73] More Boston dive bars.

[74] More Boston dive bars staffed by toothless women named Flo.

[75] Dollar drafts at Maison Robert.

[76] A shield law passed at the state and federal levels allows journalists to protect their anonymous sources without being thrown into the hoosegrow by prosecutors and self-righteous judges.

[77] Mitt Romney is kicked out of the Mormon church when he’s photographed outside Ramrod in leather chaps, a cowboy hat, and nothing else.

[78] Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Bill O’Reilly do belly shots in a new Girls Gone Wild hosted by Snoop Dogg.

[79] "Face-shaving Night" at Allston’s Great Scott.

[80] More 24-hour restaurants.

[81] Charlize Theron drops her phony self-depreciation and proclaims — while Charlie Rose grovels at her feet — that she’s smarter and better-looking than anyone else in Hollywood.

[82] A federal tax on outsourcing customer-relations jobs so we can straighten out our cell-phone bills without dealing with a guy in India named Poont-pi.

[83] Men’s cologne is permanently outlawed.

[84] Voters nationwide give the Republican Congress the heave-ho in November.

[85] Nick and Jessica reunite on Pay-Per-View.

[86] President Bush sits down for gumbo with local residents at a New Orleans restaurant.

[87] Bush falls off the wagon, shows up at a state dinner smashed, and screams at his mother, "You always loved Jebbie more!"

[88] Former staffers from the now-departed Atlantic Monthly assume editorial responsibilities at the Boston Metro. Story lengths immediately increase from three paragraphs to 10,000 monosyllabic words.

[89] A woman is elected to the US Congress from Massachusetts.

[90] Archbishop Sean O’Malley discloses plans to open a gay nightclub. Oh wait; Paul Shanley already did that.

[91] A speck of green on the Rose Kennedy Greenway.

[92] More naked people. Everywhere. Except the supermarket freezer section.

[93] No more anti-gay-marriage amendments.

[94] International crowds mob the Institute of Contemporary Arts when its new facility opens.

[95] Maurice and Barry back behind the bar at the Plough & Stars.

[96] A major motion picture shot in Boston by a world-class director that’s not sabotaged by greedy unions and bickering bureaucrats.

[97] A cure for cancer, AIDS, and unsightly stretch marks.

[98] A James Ivory remake of Godzilla.

[99] A substantive, articulate, compelling national Democratic platform.

[100] Howard Dean gets some tact. And a neck.

[101] Tom Brady drops a wallet loaded with cash in a restaurant parking lot — and the person who finds it keeps it!

[102] More readers with your patience.

[103] More people named Assman.

[104] A Papas Fritas reunion show. In their day, they were bigger than ... Certainly, Sir.

[105] The survival of the Brattle Theatre.

[106] Peace on Earth Goodwill to Men. Oh yeah, and to women, too.