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Out There Archives
Emasculation in a jiffy
Nothing makes me feel less like a man than going for an oil change
By Alan Olifson
from June 10, 2005
Both sides now
Think it’s hard dating someone with kids? Try being one of the kids.
By Kris Frieswick
from June 3, 2005
Nature's song
For me, nothing says summer like outdoor music festivals
By Alan Olifson
from May 27, 2005
A real trooper
You really want to support the military? Here’s the ultimate plan.
By Steve Almond
from May 20, 2005
Today's date
Courting used to be a much more enjoyable affair than the version I had to endure
By Alan Olifson
from May 13, 2005
A family affair How to survive the annual return home without (technically) murdering any of your relatives
By Steve Almond
from May 6, 2005
Southern exposure Why I don’t exactly wish I were in Dixie (though sometimes I have to travel there for business)
By Steve Almond
from April 29, 2005
Periodical insanity On falling victim to the ubiquitous magazine-subscription card
By Alan Olifson
from April 22, 2005
Courting derision Contrary to popular belief, squash is actually the most macho game ever invented
By Steve Almond
from April 15, 2005
The horror The latest spate of awful scary movies has left me trapped in a Sisyphean cycle of excitement and disappointment
By Alan Olifson
from April 8, 2005
Plastic makes perfect? Even the emergence of the vagina as pop-culture phenomenon did not prepare me for the vaginoplasty
By Sarah Green
from April 1, 2005
Get back A trip to Vegas proves that the best destination of all is behind the scenes
By Alan Olifson
from March 25, 2005
Hot wheels Pass me the steel to-go cup — I drive a Subaru now
By Caitlin Shetterly
from March 18, 2005
AC/DC straight, no chaser Appreciating the raw purity of rock and roll, when an album was just an album
By Alan Olifson
from March 11, 2005
Cash cowed You know the Republican Party is serious about reaching out when it starts asking pinkos for money
By Steve Almond
from March 4, 2005
I'm not with the band I don’t want to be a rock star; I just want to play my drums. If only I could find a group with similar dreams of mediocrity.
By Alan Olifson
from February 25, 2005
One angry man How to get dismissed from jury duty without really trying
By Steve Almond
from February 18, 2005
Exercising my rights Who says I actually have to use my home-gym equipment?
By Alan Olifson
from February 11, 2005
Mother lode I’ve been through the wedding wave before, but this time is different. Very different.
By Kris Frieswick
from February 4, 2005
Slippery slope With skiing, I was finally good at a sport. Now I’m suddenly passé.
By Alan Olifson
from January 28, 2005
True colors A quick and easy way to resolve America’s culture war
By Steve Almond
from January 21, 2005
Poker face I’ve been dedicated to the latest card craze my whole life. Too bad I’m not any good.
By Alan Olifson
from January 14, 2005
Country club Why are even some of the toughest city dwellers scared off by a stand of evergreens?
By Rebecca Wieder
from January 7, 2005
To a T When did T-shirts go from a celebration of individuality to just another ironic wink at the world?
By Alan Olifson
from December 31, 2004
Party hardly One man’s memory of a New Year’s from hell lingers like a 17-year hangover
By Steve Almond
from December 24, 2004
Oh, baby On the very faint ticking of one man’s biological clock
By Alan Olifson
from December 17, 2004
Channeling profits The whole not-for-profit literary gig got you down? Don’t bother pitching your manuscript. Pitch TV shows!
By Steve Almond
from December 10, 2004
Eve of destruction
At a certain point, doing Jäger shots at 3:30 a.m. on New Year’s isn’t ‘going strong,’ it’s ‘a cry for help’
By Alan Olifson
from December 3, 2004
When I was bling In which the author discovers the unbridled joy of spending other people’s money
By Steve Almond
from November 26, 2004
Dream on If only my subconscious were trying to tell me something important
By Alan Olifson
from November 19, 2004
Here she is, Miss ... Erika? How did my geeky childhood partner in crime wind up in the Miss America pageant?
By Lauren Keane
from November 12, 2004
A time to heal In which the author issues a few heartfelt political apologies
By Steve Almond
from November 5, 2004
Waiting to inhale As much as I love my now-smoke-free life, I can’t help but feel a twinge of longing when I make my way past smokers’ alley
By Alan Olifson
from October 29, 2004
Dope on a rope Teaching an old man an old trick
By George Grattan
from October 22, 2004
Pocket of babble Constant electronic access makes it possible to be unwholesome and boring 24/7
By Alan Olifson
from October 15, 2004
Stomach ache How did showing off your tummy roll become a fashion statement?
By Kris Frieswick
from October 8, 2004
Awe, shucks Stepping out of the trappings of Stealth Jew and into a yarmulke for a few days
By Alan Olifson
from October 1, 2004
The joy of fear Or: So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, Dubai
By Chris Wright
from September 24, 2004
Swearing loyalty When it comes to old college buddies, unconditional love sometimes can sound a lot like ‘Try not to wet yourselves, assholes’
By Alan Olifson
from September 17, 2004
Alert overload Remember when amber was just a stone?
By Kris Frieswick
from September 10, 2004
Let the Games be gone My grip on self-worth is tenuous enough without the Olympics rubbing 16-year-old gymnasts in my face
By Alan Olifson
from September 3, 2004
Through a blog darkly Reviews of blogs by people I know who don’t know I know about their blogs
By Joe Lavin
from August 27, 2004
Off the market I’ve got one year left in the coveted 18-to-34-year-old demographic. What happens then?
By Alan Olifson
from August 20, 2004
A Kris by any other name When it came to getting married, the hardest decision was what to call myself after the big day
By Kris Frieswick
from August 13, 2004
Out of sight Finally, failing vision allows me to make a spectacle of myself
By Alan Olifson
from August 6, 2004
The parent crap The fine art of alienating potential in-laws
By Chris Wright
from July 30, 2004
It's only natural On camping, bacon, and making peace with Mother Nature
By Alan Olifson
from July 23, 2004
Walk this way Through snow, sleet, and summer heat, I've learned my city one step at a time
By Kris Frieswick
from July 16, 2004
Memo to God A few suggestions for nipping and tucking the universe
By Chris Wright
from July 9, 2004
Hair today, gone tomorrow As my bald spot grows, the stages of grief set in
By Alan Olifson
from July 2, 2004
Hasn't been Hallmarked How do you wish someone a happy anniversary when the anniversary is yours and his, but you’re not a couple?
By George Grattan
from June 25, 2004
Music to my years Life would be so much easier if only I had my own soundtrack
By Kris Frieswick
from June 18, 2004
I don't Sure, gay marriage is legal now. That doesn’t mean I’ll be walking down the aisle anytime soon.
By David Valdes Greenwood
from June 11, 2004
Park it Think you’ve grown up? See how you handle rides, wonder, and snot at the Happiest Place on Earth.
By Alan Olifson
from June 4, 2004
Word imperfect The perils of maximizing your communicational dollar
By Chris Wright
from May 28, 2004
My pro forma life Big corporations aren’t the only ones who can manipulate the numbers
By Kris Frieswick
from May 21, 2004
Bloom service Somehow I never expected to wind up a Holiday Helper at a nationwide florist network
By Alan Olifson
from May 7, 2004
Cupid's bullet Is it okay to cram six years of marriage into a single month?
By Chris Wright
from April 30, 2004
Dogged pursuits Forget that chocolate Lab. Everything I know, I learned from a basset hound.
By Alan Olifson
from April 23, 2004
I'm crushed The Boys of Summer are back. Time to pick this season’s favorite.
By Kris Frieswick
from April 16, 2004
Fill in the blank On trying to settle down — without settling
By Chris Railey
from April 9, 2004
Funny business What makes a joke tick?
By Chris Wright
from April 2, 2004
Periodic table The important things we learn from our elders
By Alan Olifson
from March 26, 2004
Winging it He may take one for the team, but is the wingman really a dream?
By Kris Frieswick
from March 19, 2004
I, possum What humans can learn from ugly animals
By Chris Wright
from March 12, 2004
Sporting life How one hung-over day on the couch changed a lifetime of athletic apathy
By Alan Olifson
from March 5, 2004
Totaled recall The hidden benefits of absent-mindedness
By Chris Wright
from February 27, 2004
Pressing play On learning to do nothing, just for the fun of it
By Kris Frieswick
from February 20, 2004
Love at first bite If chocolate be the food of love, eat on — especially on Valentine’s Day
By Steve Almond
from February 13, 2004
Money for nothing? When it came to cash, I used to be an idealist. Then that student-loan check arrived.
By Rebecca Wieder
from February 6, 2004
Homing in One of these days, I’m going to have to grow up and buy property
By Alan Olifson
from January 30, 2004
Dog days Want to adopt a puppy? Not so fast.
By David Valdes Greenwood
from January 16, 2004
Falling awake From the royal toilet to dirty socks: Insomnia takes a turn for the worse
By Chris Wright
from January 9, 2004
Junk verbiage Celebrate the new year by putting some dead language out to pasture
By Steve Almond
from January 2, 2004
Clear and present danger Some people don’t just look a gift horse in the mouth, they perform dental surgery
By Kris Frieswick
from December 26, 2003
Making the cut Little did I know what my nephew’s bris-day honor would entail
By Alan Olifson
from December 19, 2003
Breaking up with Britney
It’s official: My relationship with the Divine Ms. S is over
By Steve Almond
from December 12, 2003
Tune in, turn on, shut up
Maybe the secret of successful dating is knowing when to zip it
By Chris Wright
from December 5, 2003
Diary of an über-wife
My first lesson of marriage: Set reasonable expectations
By Kris Frieswick
from November 28, 2003
Playing God
Ever wonder about the meaning of life? Or where lint goes? Read on.
By Steve Almond
from November 21, 2003
Corrections If only life’s mistakes could be fixed with a note on page two
By Chris Wright
from November 14, 2003
Carried away Marriage means never having to say you’re sorry for dropping your wife before you reach the finish line
By Steve Almond
from November 7, 2003
Playing the numbers Believe the 40s are the best decade of your life if it helps you sleep at night
By Kris Frieswick
from October 31, 2003
Equal riots amendment
Why bottle throwing and car flipping should not be a privilege of the few
By Chris Wright
from October 24, 2003
Up in smoke
Why marijuana users are unlikely to lead the next, uh, political revolution
By Steve Almond
from October 17, 2003
On the job
Despite all my Mister Rogers aversions, it’s official: I’ve been uniformed
By Rebecca Wieder
from October 10, 2003
About face
If I’d only known sooner what I look like when I’m dancing
By Kris Frieswick
from October 3, 2003
For a song
When bad karaoke happens to good people
By Steve Almond
from September 26, 2003
Home truths
Why England isn’t all it’s cracked up to be
By Chris Wright
from September 19, 2003
California dreaming
How to win the governorship of the nation’s most populous state without really trying
By Steve Almond
from September 12, 2003
Map it!
How can you know where you’re going unless you know where you are?
By Kris Frieswick
from September 5, 2003
Words to the wise
Mastering the art of dialogue
By Chris Wright
from August 29, 2003
Forward thinking
Apparently, gullible isn’t in the cyber-dictionary
By David Valdes Greenwood
from August 22, 2003
Keeping tabs
Why I treasure trash
By Chris Wright
from August 15, 2003
Want a job with that?
The real cause of today’s record unemployment
by Kris Frieswick
from August 8, 2003
Welcome to the real world Not everything is possible, despite what The Matrix and infomercials tell us by Rebecca Wieder
from August 1, 2003
Call someone who cares They’re not phone solicitors — they’re good friends who just happen to have a great opportunity for me! by Steve Almond
from July 25, 2003
Look at me
Being married might signal the end of romantic pursuits, but does it have to mean the end of flirting? by David Valdes Greenwood
from July 18, 2003
A river runs through it
A man. A woman. A canoe. A fight. by Kris Frieswick
from July 11, 2003
Cock Talk How I became a Dick Lit author without even trying
by Steve Almond
from July 04, 2003
Psyched out Who knew that a little cheap soothsaying would turn out to be so costly? by Alan Olifson
from June 27, 2003
Yucking it up You like it. I don’t. Now what? by Rebecca Wieder
from June 20, 2003
Call me dated On the eve of my wedding, here’s what I can tell you about playing the field by Kris Frieswick
from June 13, 2003
My spam, myself
Is what’s been landing in my inbox lately a reflection of who I am? by David Valdes Greenwood
from June 6, 2003
Board meetings My online social life has everything I could wish for
by Chris Wright
from May 30, 2003
Bomb la France With Iraq defeated, the allies need to find a more suitable target. Did someone say bonjour?
by Steve Almond
from May 23, 2003
Householder etiquette Householder etiquette
by Kris Freiswick
from May 16, 2003
Inner divide Despite its allure, it just ain’t easy being bi
by Jay Jaroch
from May 9, 2003
Love letters I’ve always sworn to keep my romantic life out of my writing. Now if only I could keep writing out of my romantic life.
by Rebecca Wieder
from May 2, 2003
Writing sex In which the author offers 10 guiding principles to the would-be pornographers among you
by Steve Almond
from April 25, 2003
Manic panic Did I have more energy when I was single, or was I just afraid of missing something?
by Kris Freiswick
from April 17, 2003
Rock ’n’ rolled One night of karaoke, and I’m suddenly on the injured list
by Alan Olafson
from April 10, 2003
Running to stand still? If I’m trying to simplify my life, why am I making things so complicated?
by Chris Berdik
from April 3, 2003
Running to stand still? If I’m trying to simplify my life, why am I making things so complicated?
by Rebecca Wieder
from March 27, 2003
In memory I've had a great life, I think by Kris Frieswick
from March 20, 2003
Fear itself Be it at the hands of a homicidal maniac or by a misadventure with a stick of gum, every day, I die by Chris Wright
from March 13, 2003
Wholly matrimony? More and more often, the words ‘I do’ are the beginning of something that won’t last till death do they part: The starter marriage by Kirsten Marcum
from March 6, 2003
Kids aren't us You think you want children, don’t you? That’s because you haven’t really spent any time with them. by Steve Almond
from February 27, 2003
Viva Las Booty It took the City of Sin to show me the beauty of curves by Kris Frieswick
from February 20, 2003
Duty calls A day in life's ultimate wating room by Rebecca Wieder
from February 13, 2003
Cold snapped Are you someone who runs outside when it starts to snow? Who loves to bundle up? There’s a name for you people: Snowhole. by Steve Almond
from February 6, 2003
Dress for egress Fashion and etiquette tips for the indicted by Kris Frieswick
from January 30, 2003
Spared change? Despite how it seems, moving away from my hometown hasn’t stopped time
by Rebecca Wieder
from January 23, 2003
E-commie If the feds start reading my e-mail, alerts may fly
by David Valdes Greenwood
from January 16, 2003
Notes from a former anti-bride Be careful what you don’t wish for by Kris Frieswick
from January 9, 2003
Age inappropriate Maybe eternal youth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
by Chris Wright
from January 2, 2003
Say you want a resolution? Well, you know, we all want to change our world. Except me.
by Steve Almond
from December 26, 2002
Only a dream Should you apologize for something you did in a nightmare?
by Kris Frieswick
from December 19, 2002
A few good men These days, ‘maleness’ is all the rage. On television, that is.
by Jay Jaroch
from December 12, 2002
Getting personal Looking to meet someone? That ad is probably not going to help.
by Tamara Wieder
from December 5, 2002
Call it sleep Sometimes the simplest addictions are the hardest to kick
by Kris Frieswick
from November 28, 2002
Car talk Welcome to traffic school, where you’ll learn how to diagnose your own brain damage
by Steve Almond
from November 21, 2002
Slammed Logical or not, the opportunity to find out what others think of us is a temptation that’s hard to resist
by Rebecca Wieder
from November 14, 2002
Gotta have faith?
When science explains, the
believers dig in
by Kris Frieswick
from November 7, 2002
Sad campaign
Are we voting for governor or Cutest Couple?
by Jay Jaroch
from October 24, 2002
Trick or freak?
The game plan. The race. The haul. The consumption. In the good old days of Halloween, it was all in a night’s work.
by Steve Almond
from October 24, 2002
My left hand
When appendages take over
by Kris Freiswick
from October 17, 2002
Don’t ask, don’t tell
I admit it: I own two televisions. You probably don’t own any. And I don’t want to hear about it.
by Tamara Wieder from October 10, 2002
Pension for stupidity
What happens when a dork like me tries to make sense of my 401(k) quarterly statement?
by Steve Almond from October 3, 2002
The plunge
When standing still is no longer an option
by Kris Frieswick from September 26, 2002
Soy bomb
Notes from an unrepentant carnivore gone organic
by Jay Jaroch from September 19, 2002
Change of fools
My two cents? It’s time to retire the penny. And while you’re at it, you might want to reconsider the nickel.
by Steve Almond from September 12, 2002
Oh, baby
How to preserve a friendship with someone who’s spawned an ugly child
by Kris Frieswick from September 5, 2002
2002: A cell-phone odyssey
We’re intoxicated by new inventions. But sometimes progress can be problematic.
by Rebecca Wieder from August 29, 2002
The view from on high
Fulfilling a childhood fantasy in the cab of a locomotive
by Ted Drozdowski from August 22, 2002
Taking stock
Uncovering the real drivers of the market’s rise and fall
by Kris Frieswick from August 15, 2002
Short subject
As if my 20s weren’t hard enough, now I’m shrinking
by Chris Berdik from August 8, 2002
Mapping my jeans
Notes from a life in denim
by Ron Fletcher from August 1, 2002
Gimme space
Why sewing rooms and workshops weren’t such a bad idea
by Kris Frieswick from July 25, 2002
Counting sleep
Staying up late in search of what I’ve missed
by Rebecca Wieder from July 18, 2002
Dating geeks for dummies
I’ve suddenly realized that compared to my girlfriend, I no longer seem quite so geeky
by Joe Lavin from July 11, 2002
Tracks of my tears
The battle of the sexes stops just shy of the tissue box
by Kris Frieswick from July 4, 2002
On the job
Beware who you ask for help with finding summer employment
by Camille Dodero from June 27, 2002
The lost world
When my stuff disappears, couldn’t it at least send a postcard?
by Rebecca Wieder from June 20, 2002
Defusing the F-bomb
When the foul-mouthed are forced to swallow their words, can anything but indigestion result?
by Kris Frieswick from June 13, 2002
The only way up is down
When it comes to writing a memoir, the worse things get, the better they are
by Chris Wright from June 6, 2002
Suddenly laptop
A full-blown Romantic finally succumbs to the wiles of computer composition
by David Valdes Greenwood from May 30, 2002
Invasion of the boyfriends
Be careful what you wish for
by Kris Frieswick from May 23, 2002
Fame and misfortune
On pirates, People, and a Celebrity Dog
by Rebecca Wieder from May 16, 2002
About the Boy
He’s stupid, noisy, skittish, and messy, but I wince at the thought of losing my new friend
by Chris Wright from May 9, 2002
Who’s afraid of ghosts?
The body may age and wrinkle, but the teenager in us never dies
by Kris Frieswick from May 2, 2002
Plastic makes perfect
An easy answer to your credit-card woes: Do nothing
by Melissa Houston from April 25, 2002
Love thy neighbor?
Adventures in city living
by Rebecca Wieder from April 18, 2002
Blowing smoke
When a kid’s whining trumps civil rights, can Armageddon be far behind?
by Kris Frieswick from April 11, 2002
Shock, therapy
We weren’t prepared for the seven-year itch. And we weren’t prepared for what it would take to fix it.
by David Valdes Greenwood from April 4, 2002
Fear factors
The more time I spent looking at a list of phobias, the more things I found to be afraid of
by Chris Berdick from March 28, 2002
Drive, she said
Before you get him into the sack, get him behind the wheel
by Kris Frieswick from March 21, 2002
Literary labors lost
On being a freelance writer over 40 in a retracting economy
by Ken Capobianco from March 14, 2002
Last dance
A bachelor contemplates the lure of the couple
by Ron Fletcher from March 7, 2002
A beautiful bind
New cures offer hope of fixing what ails us. But why do some treat them like an insult?
by Kris Frieswick from February 28, 2002
Taking license
Thoughts on the emotional task of changing my driver’s license
by Dorie Clark from February 21, 2002
Life in the Google age
Search and ye shall receive
by David Valdes Greenwood from February 14, 2002
Clear and present danger
Tips for navigating the Valentine’s Day gift minefield
by Kris Frieswick from February 7, 2002
Mommy (and daddy) dearest?
Living with (or without) your partner’s parents
by Charyn Pfeuffer from February 1, 2002
Ron-o-matic!
My forbidden, savage love for Ron Popeil
by Kris Frieswick from January 25, 2002
Homeboy
Hundreds of condo open houses later, one thing is clear: They’re all ridiculously overpriced
by Joe Lavin from January 18, 2002
Bumper crop
Advertisements are everywhere. Do we really need them stuck to our cars, too?
by Noah Bruce from January 11, 2002
Think thin
Selected tactics for surviving the post-holiday poundage
by Kris Frieswick from January 4, 2002
Bench marks
Even if you’re not a criminal, going to court can be a trial
by Chris Wright from December 28, 2001
The business of strangers
Could I have done anything to help Shannon Sharpe?
by Tamara Wieder from December 21, 2001
A little dated
If multi-dating is the way it’s supposed to be, why do I feel so guilty?
by Kris Frieswick from December 14, 2001
This land is your land
Living — and learning — as an American abroad
by Christie Taylor from December 7, 2001
Enduring idle
Living in the shadow of John Cusack, Everyman
by Ron Fletcher from November 30, 2001
Hardly knew ye
Just when you think you know someone, you don’t.
by Kris Frieswick from November 23, 2001
Sounds of silence
Confessions of a mute protester
by Rebecca Wieder from November 16, 2001
Touched by something
Some people find solace in Touched by an Angel. I find porn.
by Christopher Harris from November 9, 2001
Quiet hours
Learning to live without TV
by Kris Frieswick from November 2, 2001
I think I’m paranoid
When vigilance becomes entrapment
by Camille Dodero from October 26, 2001
There goes the bride
I don’t have to get married to symbolize my commitment to a relationship
by Charyn Pfeuffer from October 19, 2001
Sea to shining sea
Seeing this great land of ours — the hard way
by Kris Frieswick from October 12, 2001
With friends like these
When your bosom buddies make more money than you do, a night on the town can be a traumatic affair
by Charyn Pfeuffer from September 14, 2001
Showers predicted
Why should pregnant women and engaged couples have all the fun?
by Kris Frieswick from September 7, 2001
Of spines and spinelessness
Behind the scenes at the library book sale
by Ron Fletcher from August 31, 2001
Slacking off
Inside the mind of a pants-loser
by Nina Willdorf from August 24, 2001
The poop
Confessions of an urban dog-walker
by Christopher Harris from August 17, 2001
Call me
When the phone doesn’t ring, you’ll know it’s him
by Kris Frieswick from August 10, 2001
Separate ways
Divorce, love, loneliness, and the benefits of a roll in the hay
by Chris Wright from August 3, 2001
Daly double
Getting a haircut like MTV’s Carson Daly changed my life — whether for better or worse remains to be seen
by Andrew Weiner from July 26, 2001
Lunatic fringe
Sure, actions have consequences — but no one knows what all the consequences might be
by Kris Frieswick from July 19, 2001
High infidelity
As a former president might have said, it all depends on what your definition of ‘cheating’ is
by Charyn Pfeuffer from July 12, 2001
Mixed emotions
Revisiting youth as captured on cassette
by Ron Fletcher from July 5, 2001
The purge
The emotional trauma of cleaning out the closet
by Kris Frieswick from July 5, 2001
Food fright
Why some things just shouldn’t be eaten
by Chris Wright from June 21, 2001
Speed limit
Getting the caffeine monkey off your back
by Sam Walters from June 14, 2001
Countdown
Playing the numbers game
by Kris Frieswick from June 7, 2001
Unpretty in pink
Though fashion and music trends would have it otherwise, I’m not going back to the ’80s
by Charyn Pfeuffer from May 31, 2001
Distance is relative
My second cousin is on TV! And she has no idea that I’m alive.
by Camille Dodero from May 24, 2001
Boyfriend Roadshow
What’s your man really worth?
by Kris Frieswick from May 17, 2001
Road kill
For all their ‘bad driving,’ Massholes actually have a plan and an objective
by Nina Willdorf from May 10, 2001
Mixed emotions
Revisiting youth as captured on cassette
by Ron Fletcher from May 3, 2001
Note to self
The less we change, the more we stay the same
by Kris Frieswick from April 26, 2001
Work it, girl
I wanted to be a writer. If only I’d known about all the jobs I’d have to take along the way....
by Sara Houghteling from April 19, 2001
Hipsterphobia
Why is his hair so much more perfect than mine will ever be? And why do I care?
by Dan Tobin from April 12, 2001
Counter intelligence
Learning to embrace the moron within
by Kris Frieswick from April 5, 2001
Don’t cry for me, Dolly Parton
A woman’s love-hate relationship with her large breasts
by Charyn Pfeuffer from March 29, 2001
Whiner
What’s in a name? You don’t want to know.
by Andrew Weiner from March 22, 2001
Lying down
Why I’d be a terrible spy
by Kris Frieswick from March 15, 2001
Counter intelligence
Learning to embrace the moron within
by Chris Wright from March 8, 2001
Burp and be free
It’s not crude; it’s a blow against puritanical repression
by Kris Frieswick from March 1, 2001
Into the wild
Observing the natives in their natural habitat
by Kris Frieswick from February 15, 2001
Sorry state
The magical power of apology
by Kris Frieswick from February 1, 2001
Hip to be dull
Break out the cribbage boards and fondue sets
by Kris Frieswick from January 19, 2001
No great shakes
What happens when two hands collide?
by Scott Kathan from January 12, 2001
Too close to call
And you thought the presidential race was a nail-biter
by Kris Frieswick from January 5, 2001
Working it
Giving the office your personal best
by Nina Willdorf from December 29, 2000
I, Prudius
In which our protagonist realizes she ain't seen nothin'
by Kris Frieswick from December 22, 2000
Tree of shame
Oh, the guilt of coveting the festive conifer
by David Valdes Greenwood from December 15, 2000
Rear Window redux
It's just like The Real World, but without the stupid conversations
by Kris Frieswick from December 8, 2000
Obscenity laws
The proper use of improper language
by Chris Wright from December 1, 2000
Home empty home
Reality-based home renovations for the busy single professional
by Kris Frieswick from November 24, 2000
Thumbs down
Urban hitchhiking: an idea ahead of its time
by Andrew Weiner from November 17, 2000
Thanks 2000
E-mail breeds familiarity breeds contempt
by Kris Frieswick from November 10, 2000
Nice guys finish vaguely
by Nina Willdorf from November 3, 2000
The vicious circle
You love him, he loves her, she loves . . . etc.
by Kris Frieswick from October 27, 2000
Fantasy bites
Coming to terms with the best of all possible worlds
by Chris Wright from October 20, 2000
Return of the TFBs
Quick -- unleash the hounds
by Kris Frieswick from October 13, 2000
Femme-inism
On bringing home the bacon, frying it up in a pan, and topping it with a nice demi-glaze
by Nina Willdorf from October 6, 2000
Junk man
Portrait of the author as a pile of third-class mail
by Stephen Heuser from September 29, 2000
Dating for gold
In some Olympic events, carrying the torch is a bad thing
by Kris Frieswick from September 22, 2000
Heart of Palm
Come, join us, and know the power of the Palm Way
by Kris Frieswick from September 15, 2000
The power of denial
Whatever happened to the happy hangover?
by Chris Wright from September 8, 2000
The power of denial
It's the hottest new coping mechanism -- order yours today!
by Kris Frieswick from September 1, 2000
Hey, baby, live here often?
The 'mating game
by Nina Willdorf from August 25, 2000
The boss of me
Why do we all turn into 15-year-olds around our parents?
by Kris Frieswick from August 18, 2000
The alone ranger
Does being by yourself make you a loser?
by Kris Frieswick from August 11, 2000
Le wow
If France is so great, why don't they have a word for `kick ass'?
by Kris Frieswick from August 4, 2000
Just swell
The injury that dare not speak its name
by Chris Wright from July 28, 2000
Really mad libs
Breaking up is hard. But it's easier with a template.
by Kris Frieswick from July 21, 2000
Buzz me
Who says drinking and dialing don't mix?
by Michelle Chihara from July 14, 2000
Real-life Survivor
Some game shows I'd really like to see
by Kris Frieswick from July 7, 2000
Gibe talking
Am I an evil person, or do I say the wrong things for the right reasons?
by Chris Wright from June 30, 2000
The saunterers
I'll take rush-hour traffic over pedestrians any day
by Kris Frieswick from June 23, 2000
Critical mess
The fine art of pulling disorder from chaos
by Todd Pitock from June 16, 2000
Small beer
Why alcohol and kids should mix
by Kris Frieswick from June 9, 2000
High-pro gloat
There's only one thing to say about the protein-diet fad: Pass the bread!
by Gloria Fallon from June 2, 2000
Cereal lust
Not just for breakfast anymore
by Kris Frieswick from May 26, 2000
Shopping dropout
Life without the shopping gene
by Kris Frieswick from May 19, 2000
Farewell, 90210
My life with Brandon, Dylan, and the gang
by Sam Pfeifle from May 12, 2000
Dot-comic relief
Reasons to be glad the bubble is bursting
by Stephen Heuser from May 5, 2000
That's smokin'
Are cigarettes still bad for you if you don't pay for them?
by Kris Frieswick April 28, 2000
Bachelorette-iquette
A tradition that needs some retooling, so to speak
by Michelle Chihara from April 21, 2000
Stuff it
The things we leave behind
by Kris Frieswick from April 14, 2000
Oh, boycott
David versus Federated Department Stores, Inc.
by Stephen Heuser from April 7, 2000
Phone hex
Love in the time of telecom
by Kris Frieswick from March 31, 2000
TV, guide
Living by the light of the tube
by Jumana Farouky from March 24, 2000
Time out
This is not my beautiful demographic
by Kris Frieswick from March 17, 2000
The crying game
Sometimes you can't beat a good manly blubber
by Chris Wright from March 10, 2000
Now that's rich
Who wants to marry a famillionaire?
by Kris Frieswick from March 3, 2000
Morphine fan
My new faith in chemicals (and other miracles of modern medicine)
by Michelle Chihara from February 25, 2000
Air quote me
Harmless finger twitch, or the decline of Western civilization?
by Kris Frieswick from February 18, 2000
Heart attack
Up with romance! Down with Valentine's Day!
by Stephen Heuser from February 11, 2000
Dream on
A look at the nightmares that bind us
by Kris Frieswick from February 4, 2000
Happy 21st!
The best of our brilliant century, so far
by Stephen Heuser from January 28, 2000
Thong thang
In praise of bottom floss
by Kris Frieswick from January 21, 2000
Getting stuffed
When did owning things become a substitute for living?
by Stephen Heuser from January 14, 2000
Mind warp
The Internet is turning me into a 21st-century pain in the ass
by Kris Frieswick from January 7, 2000
Bad is good
Another year of journo-tainment, and it's all my fault
by Jay Jaroch from December 31, 1999
Gimme
Why minimalist holidays suck
by Kris Frieswick from December 24, 1999
Cruise control
A supposedly fun thing I would absolutely do again
by Michelle Chihara from December 17, 1999
Party pooper
A spy in the house of glitz
by Kris Frieswick from December 10, 1999
Hand over fist
Why money and masturbation don't mix
by Chris Wright from December 3, 1999
The waiting
It's not only the hardest part, it's also the most confusing
by Kris Frieswick from November 26, 1999
The book bind
A recovering reader speaks out
by Stephen Heuser November 19, 1999
New Year's skeve
Welcome to the global coolness challenge
by Kris Frieswick November 12, 1999
Don't call me
Can you a cell phone and not be a cell-phone person?
by Michael Joseph Gross November 5, 1999
Goodbye, Mr. Bill
The happiest day of my life
by Kris Frieswick October 29, 1999
Jock itch
Notes on suddenly wanting to kick everyone's butt
by Jay Jaroch October 21, 1999
Slow company
Why raises are better than an on-site masseuse
by Kris Frieswick October 15, 1999
Hole in none
Good riddance, Ryder Cup
by Dan Zevin October 8, 1999
Sexual harassment
You'll miss it when it's gone
by Kris Frieswick October 1, 1999
Cork dork
A beer drinker fears he's not aging like a bottle of fine wine
by Dan Zevin September 24, 1999
Road test
How a relationship can find its purpose somewhere outside Gary, Indiana
by Jay Jaroch September 17, 1999
Playing dead
Slip 'N Slide, the Pitch Back, and other horrors of my youth
by Kris Frieswick September 10, 1999
Jersey Boy
A displaced bridge-and-tunnel person learns that he believes in the promised land
by Dan Zevin September 3, 1999
No sweatpants, myself
Old clothes make the man
by Dan Zevin August 27, 1999
Down with OPB
Are Other People's Babies ruining your life?
by Kris Frieswick August 20, 1999
Fed up
You are what you eat
by Dan Zevin August 13, 1999
Bass instincts
Notes on recovering the freedom to be bad
by Clea Simon August 6, 1999
Happy camper
Boyz n the woods
by Dan Zevin July 30, 1999
Me, naked
How to keep from dying of exposure
by Michael Joseph Gross July 23, 1999
Jibe talkin'
Sometimes learning something new can take the wind out of your sails
by Dan Zevin July 16, 1999
Lumping it
Last of the summer whine
by Chris Wright July 9, 1999
A.C., R.I.P.
A recent widower loses his cool
by Dan Zevin July 2, 1999
Flim flam
Worried about teen violence? Maybe it's time for some new movie ratings.
by Alissa Quart June 25, 1999
Fear of fatherhood
When paternal instincts strike, breeder beware
by Dan Zevin June 18, 1999
Party politics
Ask not for whom the candles burn. Just eat the cake.
by Clea Simon June 11, 1999
There's the rub
Rage against the massage
by Dan Zevin June 4, 1999
Commencement redress
Greenspan at Harvard. Kissinger at BU. What the hell do they know?
by Dan Zevin May 21, 1999
Forbidden questions
Thanks for not asking
by Dan Zevin May 7, 1999
Don't plan on it
This step-by-step program will help you achieve your long-term goals and plot the course of your future
by Dan Zevin April 30, 1999
Doggy nation
While others sleep, little tribes citywide hang out with tennis balls and plastic bags...
by Dan Zevin April 9, 1999
Don't play games
Whoever stops first, wins
by Dan Zevin March 26, 1999
Maiden voyage
Filthy kitchen? Stinky bathroom? Maybe it's time to spend $50 on a m..m..m
by Dan Zevin March 19, 1999
America's code war
We used to fear becoming a number. Now we'll just settle for having a familiar one.
by Todd Pitock March 12, 1999
Fitness crazed
A January gym rat faces February
by Dan Zevin January 29, 1999
Repair impaired
Confessions of a non-handyman
by Dan Zevin January 22, 1999
Cappuccino? Espresso? Mad Russian?
A coffee underachiever makes a New Year's resolution
by Dan Zevin January 15, 1999
Season's gratings
Greeting cards: When you really don't care enough
by Todd Pitock December 18, 1998
Jerry sprung
How TV's trashmeister turned serious and betrayed us all
by Jay Jaroch December 4, 1998
Holiday offer
We're holding a place at the table. In Toledo. Act now!
by Mark Bazar November 27, 1998
Auto immunity
Not having a driver's license isn't just inconvenient. It's practically un-American.
by Alicia Potter November 20, 1998
Seasoned with yime
Our exes may fade from memory, but their cooking tips live on
by Clea Simon November 6, 1998
Eat the snail!
The faltering vegetarian confronts his worst fear: a meal that's still alive
by Dan Tobin October 2, 1998
Movied to tears
Why we can't discuss films without losing friends
by Todd Pitock September 18, 1998
Park City
In which the author looks for a space
by Ellen Barry September 11, 1998
Solo fright
Alone for the weekend! Is it time to sow those wild oats -- or warm up some oatmeal?
by Clea Simon July 24, 1998
Laugh tract
For whom the belly laugh tolls
by Peter Keough July 17, 1998
Growing up Beastie
A bratty teenager follows his white-boy heroes into adulthood
by Mark Bazer July 10, 1998
Monumental forces
Why the Fourth of July just hasn't been the same since we lost the war
by Clif Garboden July 3, 1998
Unsend my heart
Technology brings nuance back into our lives
by Ellen Barry May 22, 1998
Ill Will Hunting
That screenplay Oscar shoulda been mine. If only I'd written a screenplay.
by Mark Bazer March 20, 1998
Poised to tell all
I'm interesting! I'm really, really interesting!
by Ellen Barry March 13, 1998
Conversion course
You'd expect Scientologists to be spacey and intense. You might not expect them to make such a bad movie.
by Mark Bazer January 30, 1998
Girl power
The fine art of remaining a feminist while having a man kill all the spiders
by Clea Simon January 23, 1998
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